How to Lead When People Stand Against You

Ever faced resistance just for doing the right thing at work? We’ve been there—and today we walk through a clear, faith-first framework to handle opposition without losing your peace, credibility, or momentum. From subtle friction to open hostility, we unpack how to diagnose what’s really going on, respond with empathy, and protect the culture you’re building.

We start by getting beneath the surface—separating facts from feelings, classifying criticism as constructive or destructive, and inviting prayerful discernment to keep bitterness at bay. Then we move into communication that actually works: choosing the right channel, listening first, using I statements to lower defenses, and documenting agreements so progress sticks. Boundaries come next—defining acceptable behavior, addressing issues privately, enforcing consequences with grace, and guarding your priorities so focus doesn’t fracture.

Support systems matter when the pressure mounts. We talk about cultivating mentors and allies, rallying your team around clear metrics, and forming healthy coalitions that lift resilience and influence. We also treat opposition as a teacher—journaling lessons, seeking honest feedback, and investing in conflict resolution and emotional intelligence so every trial refines your leadership. When lines are crossed, we lay out when to escalate to HR or legal, when to bring in a mediator, and when to disengage to protect people, stewardship, and mission. Throughout, we return to Scripture and prayer—relying on God’s strength and timing like an eagle riding the wind rather than flapping in panic.

If you’re a Christian business leader navigating critics, conflict, or polarized teams, you’ll find practical steps and spiritual anchors you can apply this week. Share this with a colleague who needs courage today, and if it helped, subscribe, leave a review, and tell us: which principle will you put into practice first?

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome, Community, And Global Shoutouts
• 2:13 Why Opposition Finds Christian Leaders
• 4:36 Costs Of Unresolved Conflict
• 5:54 Seven-Principle Framework Overview
• 6:18 1: Find The Real Root Cause
• 11:20 2: Communicate With Clarity And Empathy
• 16:22 3: Set And Enforce Boundaries
• 19:15 4: Build A Support Network
• 21:05 5: Learn And Grow From Opposition
• 23:07 6: Escalate Or Disengage Wisely
• 25:04 7: Rely On God’s Strength And Timing
• 27:02 Prayer, Takeaways, And Closing CTA

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:00

Welcome to the Christian business concepts with your host here. Christian Business Concepts is dedicated to company companies.

SPEAKER_01: 0:17

Thanks, Kelly, and welcome to all of you who are a part of Christian Business Concepts community. And for downloading this week's podcast, I'm your host, Harold Milby, and every week I try to bring you biblical business principles that, when applied, will bring you what I feel like is true godly success. And every week I hope and pray that each of you will be encouraged, enlightened, and empowered by what we discuss. So I just ask that you'd please help us to grow the CBC family by sharing this podcast with four or five others and even sharing the link to this podcast by posting it on your uh on your Facebook and on your LinkedIn pages. We would really appreciate that as we continue to grow the CBC family around the world. Uh that is one of the most humbling things that I experience every week when I see new new cities and new states in the U.S. and new countries and new cities and new countries. It's just amazing to me how that Christian business concepts is touching lives around the world. Uh this week I want to give a big shout out here in the United States to the folks of Humble Texas. Uh, you know, you guys had a lot of downloads, and uh, we sure do appreciate you folks in Humble Texas. Um in fact, uh this has been the first time we've had people listening from Humble. So thank you so much. Uh we're excited about it. Not sure how you heard about it, but we're glad that you did. Thanks for listening and being a part of the CBC community. And thanks to everybody, to all of you, for making CBC a part of your personal growth plan and downloading podcasts every week and listening. And we're so thankful for you and thankful for what God is doing through you as a as a Christian business leader. And uh, you know, as Christian business leaders, and I want to jump right into today's topic, you're going to encounter opposition. I mean, you know, there's going to be people who are against you. Uh, they could be colleagues, employees, or clients, or competitors. And these times, these situations, they're going to test your faith and they're going to test your leadership. Um, you know, there's just going to be some people that just aren't going to like you. I I'm I know that you're a likable person, you're a good person, um, you know, but you just have to face the fact that there are people out there who are just not going to like you. Maybe they don't like your personality, maybe they don't understand the different personality types and they don't understand how to work that out within themselves. Um, but regardless of what it is, it's going to happen from time to time. There's not much you can do about it, but there's just some principles that we can talk about today that I think will help you tremendously. So whether it's criticism or resistance or out and out hostility, you know, handling these challenges with grace and wisdom is going to reflect Christ's example. Uh, it'll also help to advance God's kingdom, which is what we're supposed to do. You know, Romans 12 and 18 urges this. It says, if it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. And then Matthew 5.44 says, Love your enemies. He didn't say if you want to. He just said it's a command, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you. So as we look at these, as we look at these principles, just really kind of keep those two passages in mind. Keep them in the forefront of your mind as we as we look at this. You know, unresolved conflicts uh can really reduce productivity. And in some cases, studies say by as much as 20%. Uh it also increases turnover. Uh it costs organizations a lot of money. Uh, I would say millions and millions of dollars a year around the world are spent because of it. And uh for a leader, it can really break your focus. It can also ruin your reputation if you don't deal with it correctly. Uh, you know, when I took over as uh uh one of my first, well, I went from regional sales director up to a national sales director. When I took over that position, um, you know, I had some employees that I was working with, and they were they were great when we worked together. We, you know, we were uh at that same level. But as soon as I took on that role of more of a leadership role, there were a couple of people within the organization that just all of a sudden I find that that just couldn't stand me. And uh I hadn't done anything uh at that point, but you know, it took some time to find out what the problem was. And the problem was, unbeknownst to me, that one of those people wanted the position that that I was given. And uh, you know, it wasn't that it was just given to me, but I worked for it. I worked hard for it. And and that door opened, but they were very upset because they didn't, or that this person didn't get that position, and they were they were close to this other person. So between the two of them, they really they tried to oppose me every time I took a run uh turned around. They they they were very hostile and uh came to a point to where you know I had to say, look, you guys need to, if you can't work with me, and if you can't work with me as a leader, then you need to find some place and someone that you can. And so both of them left. But during that period of time, there was a few months, it was it was a very trying time. Uh, it it was easy to have my focus broken off what I really wanted to do because I was dealing with these uh situations that were constantly in my face. And if I'd let it go, it would have been like a cancer. It would have just got inside the company and inside uh my part of the organization and just really wreaked havoc. Uh so you have to be really careful about that. You know, you have to look at these things from a very strategic uh you know look. And so we're gonna look at some strategies with some very key approaches, like seven key approaches to handle people who stand against you, but yet it'll ensure you that you can maintain your leadership capabilities and credibility, and you'll foster a team of cohesion, and you'll drive your organization to a place of great success. Uh but we got to look at these guidelines, these principles, we'll say. Uh, you know, William James, he's an American philosopher, historian, and uh psychologist. He said, whenever you're in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. And that factor is attitude. So as you're dealing with these type of people in these types of circumstances, you have to have the right attitude and keep a very good, strong, positive attitude. So let's look at these seven. Uh so the first one is understand the root cause. Um, opposition sometimes can stem from misunderstandings, uh uh difference and priorities. It can be personal insecurities, um, it can be a spiritual resistance, but but realize, you know, as even as Ephesians 6 and 12 says, our struggle is not against flesh and blood. It's not really people that we're struggling against per se. Like I said, sometimes it's just misunderstandings, it's a difference in priorities. Uh and so you got to discern whether this is professional, whether it's personal, or spiritual. And uh that's going to allow for a very targeted response, which is what you want. You know, Ephesians um uh our Proverbs 16 and 2 says, all a person's ways seem pure to them, but motives are weighed by the Lord. Uh this really encourages us to assess uh the intent. It's hard for you to know what somebody else's intentions are, but you know what your intentions are. You know what your motives are. You know, um Harvard Business Review notes that in um trying to manage these polarized teams, uh, you know, understanding that the cause, understanding the real cause begins to foster empathy and strategic responses, which will help you reduce some friction. So you you gotta identify, you've got to understand the very root cause of the opposition. And that's probably 50% of dealing with it, is you have to really uh identify it. You've got to know what it is. So, what are some things that you can do? Well, you've got to analyze things very objectively. You know, use a uh, you know, do what you can to document the situation. You've got to separate the facts from the emotions. And then next you've got to gather some context. You know, maybe, maybe uh you're you're too emotionally involved. So maybe you need to find somebody that's more neutral and and then and then review this information, try to clarify some motives. And then you've got to reflect on your role. You you've got to look at your actions. Have they contributed to this? Um, you know, you've got to reduce that that desire to be defensive on your behalf and look at the situation and try to determine even your motives. Uh and then you try to classify the opposition. You you've got to determine if it's if it's constructive. In other words, are they trying to give you some valid feedback? Or is it destructive? Are they trying to sabotage what's going on? So you need to know those two things so that you can tailor your approach and how you're going to approach. And then you need to pray for discernment. You know, you reflect on your role and how you may have contributed, but then you need to make sure you don't misinterpret opposition because it that can lead to bitterness. Uh, it can get worse. Uh, you know, the Bible says in 1 Peter 2.23, it says, when they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate. So discernment fosters, you know, empathy and aligns, you know, your responses with God's will. So you want to make sure that you pray for discernment. Uh the second uh principle is we need to communicate with clarity and empathy. You know, empathy, according to Arthur uh CM Kri Coli, uh, he says that empathy is the key to negotiating and resolving conflict. You know, using empathy and cognitive behavioral therapy to reduce this anxiety uh that that we feel sometimes. Uh, you know, effective communication, you it involves a lot of listening uh on your end. You've got to be active in your listening, you've got to be able to express your perspective, but you've got to do it clearly. You know, you've got to address your concerns, but you do it from the standpoint of empathy so that you can help to de-escalate whatever tensions there may be during this time of communication. You know, poor communication fuels about 70% of workplace conflicts. 70%. You know, it's just because it's not clear. It's just very poor communication. You know, uh empathetic dialogue, it builds trust and and a lot of times uncovers insights, according to uh a Syracuse University's um uh uh strategy and uh emphasis that they did a study on. And so those are important. So what are some steps that we can take? Well, I think you got to choose the right channel. So maybe it's an in-person, maybe it's a video call, maybe it's an email for sensitive issues to convey the tone uh that's proper. Some people do better in writing than they do in person. Some people are more aggressive in writing than they are in person, and therefore in writing is not always the best way to go when you do that. So you have to know yourself there, but you've got to choose the right channel. I always tell people, you know, anything that you make a big deal of is gonna become a big deal. So don't make a big deal about something if you don't want it to be a big deal. So keep that in mind too. Then you've got to choose your timing. You gotta you need to address issues. Always take a little time for prayer. Don't allow yourself to begin to address something in the heat of the moment, because I promise you you'll say the wrong thing and you'll say it with the wrong tone. And then you you've got to listen actively. In other words, what you've got to do is paraphrase what their points were. You know, you say something like, Well, I hear what I'm hearing is that you're concerned about, and then, you know, whatever the issue is, so that you can show them that you understand. Uh and then use what I consider to be I statements. In other words, frame your concerns as like, I'm concerned about you. Uh what you want to do is you want to avoid blaming that person because that'll shut the whole thing down uh pretty quickly. Uh so you want to be very careful of that. And then ask a lot of open-ended questions. You know, what solutions do you see? How do you see this working out? And then make sure that you summarize and you document what you agreed upon. That's extremely important. So you document it, you follow it up with written notes to make sure that there's plenty of clarity uh right there. And uh so anyway, I think if you can do that, I think you'll you'll resolve 80% of the disputes that you may have with people uh in a very good way that strengthens the relationship and it'll continue to foster collaboration. So I think that's important. Let's look at number three. Uh, number three is establish some clear boundaries. You know, we've talked about boundaries on the podcast before, but you need to establish very clear boundaries because boundaries define um acceptable behavior, uh protecting your focus and the organization's culture from any kind of uh destructive opposition. Um, you know, I think that's important. You know, Matthew 18, 15 through 17 says, if your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault just between you two. So you you want to have some boundaries. So you're gonna say, look, I'm just gonna come to you directly. I'm not gonna air this out in front of everybody. Uh and then, you know, you can outline the steps for addressing those issues. You know, Proverbs 423 says, above all else, guard your heart for everything you do flows from it. So again, that emphasizes protective boundaries. You know, unaddressed opposition can really erode team morale, ethics. But when you include boundaries, it prevents a lot of that. It prevents uh that, and it also promotes accountability. You know, Galatians 6.1 says restore that person gently. In business, it'll help you to maintain your focus and integrity. But clear boundaries make, you know, or maintain professionalism, uh, which I think is very, very important for your reputation. You know, a coach, you know, he establishes rules uh to ensure that there's fair play and there's team success. Um, first uh in 1 Corinthians chapter 9 talks about that, but but you know, a leader sets boundaries to maintain respect and focus, and it enables your team to perform really at the highest level. So, what can we do about that? Well, we can define clear limits and uh we can enforce things, but you enforce it with grace, um, you know, and then protect the priorities. You know, you you maybe you've got to delegate maybe minor conflicts uh to maintain focus on your leadership goals, but I think if it's something direct directed at you specifically, I think you have to be involved. Uh so what you want to do too is limit any kind of toxic interactions. Um, you know, know when to limit your contact with that person. You may have to just flat out reduce or eliminate contact with that person if they're like a vendor or if they're uh you know a competition or something like that. And then again, you you want to document. You document everything, make sure you have an impartial witness if it's needed, uh, but you want to document it and do a good job of that. Because when you do that, it it's really gonna pres it's gonna uh preserve your well-being. It's also gonna reduce stress. You know, some studies say it reduces stress by 25%. Uh so I think that's important uh as we look at that. So let's look at number four. Uh number four, you've got to build a support network. That's important. You need a support network. Uh, you know, a network of mentors or supporters, because some people are just going to come after you, they're going to attack you relentlessly. And you need a support network. You need people that can encourage you and help you stay focused. You know, Hebrews 10, 24 through 25 says, let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, encouraging one another. Uh Proverbs 27, 17 says, as iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. So it's important that we're not doing this in isolation. You know, you need that community. It helps you to build that resilience. You know, Harvard Business Review actually emphasizes that alliances empowers leaders, especially in polarized environments. So you need that support network. Uh, what can you do for that? Well, you know, there's some practical steps. You know, you can strengthen your internal relationships within the organization, you know, build trust with these key stakeholders through, you know, you uh you got to stay in contact with them, obviously, uh, to do that. Uh then you ought to seek out some external mentors. Uh, either join an industry group or you may want to hire a coach, you know, for objective advice. I I had a coach for several years that was extremely helpful to me. It was very well worth uh the money that I paid for the coach. Uh, but you want to rally your supporters. You know, you want to share your vision to align the team members against whatever the unfounded criticism may be. And then you want to leverage data. You want to use metrics to build your credibility and counter the opposition when you have somebody that's just standing against you. And then you're going to have to form some coalitions, you know, partner with some peers to share your challenges. Uh, you just have to do that. So it'll help you to increase your influence. A lot of studies say by as much as 30%. Uh, it'll also provide emotional resilience. It'll, it'll, it'll help you align with uh with God's vision that he has given you. So that's important. Let's look at number five. Number five is learn and grow from opposition. You know, opposition is a catalyst for growth. It offers a lot of opportunities to help us to refine our leadership skills, to help us adapt strategies and foster innovation by viewing those challenges as learning experiences. You know, James 1 and 4, uh I mean 1, 2 through 4, it says, consider it pure joy whenever you face trials. The testing of your faith produces perseverance so that you may be mature and complete. So we we know that. You know, even in Romans uh 5 and 3 through 4, it says suffering produces perseverance and perseverance character and character hope. So you can see that, you can see how that that operates. And so you want to be able to look at this as a learning opportunity and more importantly as a growth opportunity. Now here's some practical steps, you know, uh make sure that you reflect on lessons. Like you want to kind of maybe have a journal, maybe keep these things in a journal. I believe in journaling, you know, and once you get through these conflicts, you know, maybe write out some insights that you gain from that. And then look at it and say, well, what could I have done better? How can I improve? Uh, but look at it as a learning opportunity and then get some feedback. Ask some trusted people for uh for their perspective on the way that you're approaching this or how you handled it, and let them give you some good, honest feedback. And then make sure that you're willing to adapt your strategies. You know, you may have to update processes based on some of the things that you've learned. Uh, and maybe you want to invest in some training. You know, there's a lot of courses out there online to help you with conflict resolution or uh to develop emotional intelligence. We've talked about that on this podcast. And and and then pray for growth. Pray for growth. Pray that God shows you how you can grow through this and then be sure that you develop skills that you need. You know, pursue that training and make sure you get the skills that you feel like that you need to make it happen. Uh so I think that's important. Let's look at number six. We're almost done. Uh number six, escalate or disengage strategically. In other words, when there's opposition and and that opposition is being uh the uh unethical or maybe even illegal, uh they're just persistently destructive. Um, I think then you you have to go, then at that point, you may have to go legal to a legal counsel, you may have to go to HR, uh, or then there's times when you disengage, you just limit the interaction. And that may be necessary to protect not just you, but the organization or the department. Um, you know, I I just think that's important. You've got to know when to act decisively and not allow prolonged um damage to your department, to yourself, to your organization, and help you to preserve your focus. And and so you can do that. You just need to assess the severity. How severe is that? You escalate it if the opposition involves harassment uh or any kind of ethical violations or legal issues. You definitely want to escalate it at that point. Uh, but then follow protocols. If you have company policies in place for formal escalation, um, you know, make sure that you follow those. Uh and then try to, when you disengage, try to do it in a tactful way. In other words, you want to limit that contact with these kinds of toxic individuals and try to redirect your energy to some other greater priorities that are more important. And then you want to hire, you you may have to hire a mediator. You know, if you don't go full legal, you may have to hire a mediator that can get involved. You know, you get somebody that's a professional and they're dealing with complex disputes all the time. And then you need to monitor the outcome. You know, ensure that the resolutions that that you've put into place, they're gonna avoid any kind of retaliation or further uh issues down the road. So I think that's important. And then lastly, we want to look at uh something I think is very important. That is you've got to rely on God's strength. You've got to rely on his strength, and you've got to rely on his timing. You know, handling opposition ultimately requires dependence on God's strength, his wisdom, his timing through prayer, through the word of God, through trust in his sovereignty, because he is all-knowing. You know, uh Philippians 4.13 says, I can do all things through him who gives me strength. Uh Isaiah 40, 31 says, those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will run and not grow weary. It's in the Lord, you know, uh like a like an eagle that soars effortlessly, but he relies on those wind currents. And those who hope in the Lord, they're going to soar on wings like eagles. And a leader relies on God's strength to rise above the challenges without exhaustion. You know, the eagle doesn't flap frantically, but it trusts the wind to lift it. You know, handling opposition effectively is a hallmark of great leaders. And by understanding causes and communicating in a very empathetic way, uh building support, uh, using these strategies, setting boundaries, learning from the challenges, and escalating when you need to. When you do that, uh, I think that you can transform a lot of opposition into opportunities for growth and unity. And these practices are supported by research, and they'll help you to reduce conflict in the future and conflict costs even by up to 40%. And it's going to help you to perform at a higher level. So you want to embed these skills and look at yourself. Give yourself a regular assessment, you know, and then train your team. Don't just train yourself, but train your team in conflict resolution. And then you need to pray every day. You know, revisit the framework during these challenges. Make sure that you're still doing the right things in the right way. And by moving forward with vision and effort, I believe you'll lead and you'll be a great leader and you'll be one with resilience and uh you'll move forward, fostering a great culture within your organization. So, Lord, sometimes, Lord, we come before you now, and Lord, sometimes no matter what we do, there are people who will just want to stand against us. Lord, we don't understand it. We don't know why, but there are people that will come and do that. And Father, we just ask for your guidance and your direction during these times. Lord, help us to implement some of these principles to help bring peace and clarity. Help us to know when to take a hard stand, and Lord, help us to know when to show grace. Lord, help us to be strong and resilient leaders in the name of Jesus. Amen and amen. Well, thanks to all of you for downloading this week's podcast. And my prayer is that you will be enlightened and encouraged and empowered by today's podcast. So be please be sure to share this podcast with four or five other people this week. That's all the time we have for it for today. So remember that Jesus is Lord and He wants you blessed.

SPEAKER_00: 28:52

Thank you for tuning in to this week's Christian business coming to podcast. Go to Christian business coming. Come on, come on information, so business.