Why Great Leaders Prioritize One-on-One Meetings: Conversations That Transform

The fastest way to lose good people is to lead them from a distance. We dig into one of the most underused leadership practices in business: the intentional one-on-one meeting, not the performance review, not the team update, but the focused conversation that builds trust, clarity, and growth one person at a time.

We walk through why one-on-ones matter so much for Christian leadership and business leadership, and why “misalignment grows in silence.” Using biblical principles in business, we look at how Jesus built lasting influence through personal conversations, and what that teaches us about employee engagement, retention, and healthy workplace culture. When we listen well, we don’t just gather information. We create alignment, reduce confusion, and catch small performance issues early through gentle course correction.

We also break down the major types of one-on-ones leaders need to master: alignment meetings that clarify priorities, coaching meetings that develop skills and confidence, accountability meetings that restore standards without anger, care-focused meetings that support the whole person, vision casting that reconnects work to mission, and promotion conversations that keep top performers from climbing someone else’s ladder. You’ll hear specific questions to ask, plus simple execution habits like consistency, preparation, note-taking, and follow-up so these meetings produce real results.

If you want better performance management, stronger trust, and more godly leadership in the marketplace, press play. Subscribe, share this with a leader who needs it, and leave a review telling us which type of one-on-one you plan to schedule first.

Transcript

Welcome And The Mission

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to the Christian Business Concepts with your host, Harold Milby. Christian Business Concepts is dedicated to guiding companies and business owners and being company effective, efficient, and successful. God's word is godly principled. Now here's your host, Harold Milby.

SPEAKER_01 0:17

Thanks, Kelly, and uh welcome everyone to this week's Christian Business Concepts Podcast. I'm your host, Harold Milby, and as always, I'm grateful and so appreciative that you have chosen to invest your time in growing both your faith and your leadership. And that's what Christian Business Concepts is about because every week we try to bring you topics and apply biblical principles to help you find true godly success. And we we hope that today that you will be encouraged and inspired. And also we hope that you'll be feel empowered by what you hear today. You know, we believe God wants you to succeed, not just financially, but uh spiritually, relationally, and even within your organization.

Share The Podcast Community Ask

SPEAKER_01 1:11

And uh I would like to ask for your help and getting others to become a part of this important community by sharing this podcast with four to five others this week and by putting a link to this podcast and a post on your Facebook and LinkedIn pages. Um this week I also want to give a big shout out to Spartansburg, South Carolina for having so many downloads this week. Thank you, Spartansburg, and and thanks to all of you who listen each and every week. We're so humbled by that, and we so so much appreciate you and uh doing what you can to become that godly leader, that that that godly man or woman uh that can help add value to other people. That's what's important to us. So thank you again. Thank you so very, very

Why One On Ones Matter

SPEAKER_01 2:03

much. Now, today we're going to talk about one of the most underutilized leadership tools, I think, um, in business. And that is the one-on-one meeting. A one-on-one meeting. And again, I'm sure that when you heard me say that, you're like, oh, one-on-one meeting. But yet I do believe it's underutilized. It's it's a great leadership tool that's not being used either correctly or not being used at all. I'm not talking about the big team meeting. I'm not talking about the quarterly all hands-on-deck meeting, and I'm not talking about the performance review, which is important, but I'm not talking about the performance review. I'm talking about the simple, intentional, focused, personal, one-on-one meeting. Because leadership is never mass-produced. Leadership is never mass-produced, it's handcrafted one conversation at a time. So, why do these one-on-one meetings matter so much? Well, let me ask you something. When was the last time somebody truly listened to you without checking their phone or their watch or without interrupting, um, with without rushing to the next appointment? I mean, that's powerful when you think about it. And that's why one-on-ones matter. That's why they're

Jesus And Personal Leadership

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so important. You know, Jesus built the greatest leadership movement in history. And how did he do that? He he didn't do it through these big, huge events, he didn't do it through big stadium events, even though he drew some five and ten thousand people at a time. But that's not how he built the ministry. He built the ministry through one-on-one conversations. You know, you look in John chapter 3 and you find out that about Jesus and Nicodemus. That was a one-on-one meeting, but it transformed his life. You know, look at Jesus and the Samaritan woman, who Jesus knew all about and told her all about herself. Uh, but yet he changed her life. The course of her entire life was changed because of a one-on-one meeting with Jesus. Jesus and Peter had a one-on-one meeting after his resurrection in John chapter 21. And Jesus and the rich young ruler remember him. Jesus and the rich young ruler, they had a one-on-one meeting. You know, the crowds heard the sermons, but lives were truly transformed in really more personal encounters. Because crowds inspire, but it's conversations that transform. Now, why, you know, why do we need these

What One On Ones Create

SPEAKER_01 5:02

one-on-one meetings? Well, let's talk about why these meetings are so necessary. So, first, I would like to say that they're about alignment. You know, Amos uh chapter 3, verse 3 says, can two walk together unless they are agreed? Alignment doesn't happen by accident, it happens through conversation. See, misalignment grows in silence. Misalignment grows in silence. So it's so important. Alignment with these one-on-one meetings, that's how you grow alignment. Uh number two is clarity. People don't leave companies because of hard work. They leave because of unclear expectations and unclear appreciation. Uh, you know, there's a quote by um uh Patrick uh Lincioni. He said that everything is important. He said, if everything is important, nothing is. If everything is important, nothing is. So what do one-on-ones do? One-on-one meetings, they bring focus. Focus. Number three, they bring coaching and development. You know, uh Proverbs 27, 17, it says, as iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. So sharpening requires contact. You have to be in contact with somebody. You can't sharpen someone from across the room. It's one-on-one. So you have this opportunity for development and coaching uh when you have these one-on-one meetings. Another is course correction. So most performance issues, they start really small. It's not something typically, I'm that that that's I don't want to paint with a broad brush here because I think there are times that that there are certain things that do happen very large, but most performance issues they start small. A one-on-one is is like adjusting the steering wheel one degree at a time. You know, if you miss the correction early and then you miss the destination later because you're off course. You know, you're off course. Like I said, uh in a ship, if if you move that steering wheel just one degree and you travel for a long period of time, you're not going to meet your destination because you've been slowly moving off course. And so what happens is is that one-on-one meeting helps to bring course correction. It also helps to bring relationship and trust. See, see, people don't follow titles, they follow leaders that they trust. See, trust grows in proximity. In other words, trust grows when you have one-on-one meetings. Trust grows when you they they come to people that they trust. When they meet with people they trust, uh, and and that trust increases. So, yeah, they may trust you now, but as you continue to meet one-on-one, that trust grows. It grows because you're having these one-on-one meetings, you're you're having those. I I was very fortunate to work for a man that that gave me a lot of one-on-ones. And it was transforming. It was absolutely, I look back at who I was as a leader uh back before I started many years ago with this with this company and for this CEO. And I look back at who I am today, and I can see that a lot of of my growth came uh from uh my actual one-on-one meetings. That's that's where they came from. They came from those one-on-one meetings. And uh so it's it's so important that that we we look at this as something that is needed within the organization. It's something that's needed uh in any organization, whether it is a um uh nonprofit, whether it's a for-profit, whether it doesn't matter what the organization is. So, you know,

Types Of One On Ones

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let's talk about the different types of one-on-ones. That's that I get excited about this because there's so many great examples of one-on-one meetings and what you should use them for. But, you know, understand that not all conversations are the same, and they shouldn't be the same. You shouldn't have the your one-on-one meetings with people should never be exactly the same, you know, because there are different reasons, there are different uh types of meetings that we need to have. And uh I think that's important. I think it's very, very important. So uh let's take a look at that. Because, you know, when you when you treat, I think, every one-on-one like it's a status update, for example, that's not really leadership, that's just reporting. You know, if you're just getting a status update, that's just a meeting where somebody reports to you what's going on. That's not leadership. A true one-on-one is very intentional, it has a purpose, it has a tone, and it has an outcome. Ecclesiastes 3 and 1 reminds us that there's a time for everything and a season for every activity under the heavens. Different seasons require different conversations. It's that simple. So let's walk through uh the major types of one-on-one meetings. There's probably more, but these are the major ones. And how do you lead each one and be effective in it? So the first one is the alignment one-on-one.

Alignment Meetings For Focus

SPEAKER_01 10:59

Are we pointed in the same direction? That's important. What's the purpose of this meeting? Well, it's to make sure that the priorities and expectations and the responsibilities are very clear. You know, again, as I shared earlier, you know, Amos 3 and 3, it says, can two walk together unless they be agreed? So agreement requires communication. So some of the times that you may need this kind of a meeting, this alignment meeting, this alignment one-on-one is maybe at the beginning of a new quarter, or maybe you feel like maybe uh their performance is off. I had a couple of meetings like that over my 25 years with my CEO where my performance was off a little bit. Uh, in both of those cases, the CEO came to me. We had a one-on-one meeting and to discuss what it was. I didn't recognize that my performance had been off. He did. And he asked me, the first question he asked me, he said, Are you okay? You know, it wasn't just about the performance, it was about pouring into my life. And it and at those two meetings, they it was about the fact I had some personal things going on at the time. And he took the time to listen, and he took the time to help, uh, not just to listen. So that can be a time that you have to have that kind of meeting. Uh, or maybe there's rapid growth and there has to be a lot of changes, or when somebody feels like they're overwhelmed. So, what does that sound like? Well, you know, you'll hear things like, well, what are your top three priorities this week? Or what does success look like for you right now? Or is there anything to you that's unclear? Those are great questions to ask in that kind of a meeting. You know, most underperformance is not really rebellion. A lot of times it's just plain confusion. Because people can't hit a target that they can't see or they don't know. You know, alignment meetings are like adjusting binoculars. You know, you already are looking in the same direction, but you just need to sharpen the focus. Focus in a little better. So when expectations are unclear, what happens is frustration grows. You know, uh Proverbs 29, 18 says, where there is no vision, the people perish. So vision has to be translated into individual responsibility. You have to see it that way. All right, so let's look at another one: the coaching one-on-one.

Coaching Meetings To Develop People

SPEAKER_01 13:38

Uh that's about helping to grow somebody. I had many of those meetings because this is where your leadership begins to shift from just managing tasks to developing people. 2 Corinthians 2 and 2 says, Entrust to reliable people who will also be qualified to teach others. Coaching multiplies leaders. That's how you build leaders. And the purpose of that type of meeting is to strengthen maybe some skill or strengthen a mindset or maybe to increase the leadership capacity. Um and sometimes you have to do that because maybe they have a lot of potential. Maybe they're an employee with a lot of potential. Uh, or maybe they've got some gaps with with maybe uh uh some of the specific skills that they that they need. Or maybe you're preparing somebody to take them to the next level, maybe uh uh a promotion, uh, but you've got to prepare them. They're not ready for it. Um, or a lot of times with coaching, at that time it's because they've made a mistake. And and and it's this meeting doesn't isn't uh supposed to be for punitive, it's not a punitive meeting because they made a mistake. It's to help them develop, it's helped them to become refocused. Because if you turn it into a punitive meeting, then it's going to be very, very discouraging, and that will become a morale problem within the other parts of your organization. So that's it's very, very important. And so what are some of the questions that you might ask? Well, they may be something like um uh what's one skill you want to sharpen? Or what feedback have you received lately? Um or that I love I I love to ask people, what are you, you know, where I should say, where are you limiting yourself? I had that question asked of me. It makes you think, it helps you to stretch. Uh or you could ask, what would bold leadership look like for you? You know, uh Jesus coached Peter. Peter was very impulsive, he was emotional, he was inconsistent, yet Jesus saw what? He said, You are a rock, even though that's not what people in the natural would have said of Peter. But yet Jesus called him a rock. Why? Because he could see that's where he was going to be. He was coaching him to get there. You know, Wayne Gritsky, a great hockey player, he said you always skate toward where the puck is going to be, not where it's at, where it's going to be. And so that's what happens in these coaching meetings. What you're trying to do is help to build their confidence, encourage them to be the leader they can be, not necessarily where they're at right now. So coaching is like weight lifting for leadership. You don't lift the weight for them, but you're that person that helps them, encourages them. And in the gym, you have somebody that's called a spotter. They're the ones as you're lifting weights and you're stretching and you're pushing your muscles above the limit that they've been in the past. And so what happens is you have somebody that kind of watches you, that kind of they don't put your hand their hands on the bar, but they got their hands close as you're moving those weights in case you falter, in case you can't push them up and get them back on the rack or whatever. They help you. They grab the bar, they help you. And so that's what happens in a coaching meeting. Uh John Maxwell always said, people don't care how much you know until they know how much you care. So coaching demonstrates that. It demonstrates that you care about them. You know, if you're not developing, if you're not developing your people, let me say it this way. If you're not developing your people, you're just renting them. You're just renting them. That's it. Because they're not going to stay, because you're not developing them. People want to be developed. One of the reasons that I stayed at the company as so many years that I did is because I felt like the CEO was putting the time and energy into me to develop me, to develop me as a person, to learn as a person. All right, the next is the accountability one-on-one.

Accountability Meetings Without Anger

SPEAKER_01 18:07

This is important too. This is the conversations that most leaders don't like to have. They like to, they try to avoid them. But avoiding these kinds of accountability one-on-one meetings is going to be very expensive to you. You know, Hebrews 12.11 says no discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace. So the purpose of an accountability one-on-one is to correct behavior, to improve performance or to restore standards. You know, now, accountability, let me say this. Accountability is not anger. What it is is it's going to be clarity coupled with or plus expectation. That's an accountability one-on-one. That's the best description I can give you. It's clarity plus expectation. Because when you you continually miss deadlines, if a person's missing deadlines, or they have a negative attitude, or maybe they just keep making the same mistake over and over again. Uh, these are the times where you need to have uh this accountability meeting. This is when you need to have that meeting. So, what you want to do in that meeting is you want to describe the behavior, and then you want to explain the impact it's having, and then you want to clarify your expectation moving forward. And then you both need to agree on what the next steps are. You know, it's like uh you you may say something, maybe you've got an employee in front of you, you know, you may say something like, hey, last week's report was submitted two days late. Now that delays our client billing. I I really need reports submitted by Friday at 3 p.m. consistently. Now, what obstacles are you facing to keep that from happening? And so you you get to an agreement of what needs to take place. You know, it's not personal, it's directional. You're giving direction. That's what that meeting is. You know, Nathan confronted David in 2 Samuel chapter 12. And uh so correction, when you deliver it with a lot of wisdom, it per preserves the other person's dignity. At the same time, you're still confronting truth, but it does preserve their preserve their dignity, and I think that adds value to them. You know, accountability is kind of like a, you know, I go to the chiropractor uh every uh once a month at least, uh, just for maintenance, but accountability is kind of like kind of like a chiropractic adjustment. It may feel a little bit uncomfortable, but it gets you realigned. And that's what that is. You you want to help them get realigned because uncorrected behavior becomes culture, and that's not what you want. So you have to have these one-on-one meetings.

Care Meetings For The Whole Person

SPEAKER_01 21:11

Another one is the care and pastorial one-on-one. That's kind of what I call it. Uh you know, and that's those meetings I told you I've had before. Uh, you know, the CEO would probably never consider what he did with me and some of my one-on-ones with him as pastorial. I think he would consider it as care, but not so much pastorial, but that's kind of how I describe it. And those kind of things start with like, you know, how are you doing? Really? How are you doing? I had those meetings. So it this is a kind of meeting that goes beyond productivity. That's not what we're talking about. You know, Galatians 6 2 says carry each other's burdens. The purpose of these kind of meetings is to support somebody emotionally, spiritually, and possibly even some personal challenges that they may be facing. I'm not talking about being. Their counselor. That's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about listening so that you know what this person could be dealing with. So if you notice a big shift in their attitude, there's a reason. Something's going on. Maybe they're not as engaged as they normally are. I had one of those meetings. Maybe there's a personal crisis, or, you know, it could be a stressful time right now in the business. It could be a lot of things. You know, you want to ask things like, hey, how are you doing outside of work? You know, what kind of things are weighing you down? How can I support you right now? That's such a great question to ask. How can I support you right now? What can I do to help you? And, you know, I've had employers come to me with that. I love those employers that come that have come to me in the past and said, you know, how can I support you? Now keep in mind that, like I said, you're not a therapist, so don't try to be a therapist. But you are their leader. And leaders notice. They notice, just like Jesus noticed the Samaritan woman. He addressed her life before he addressed her theology. You know, because care will build openness. You know, it's kind of like a triage. You know, before asking somebody to run, you got to make sure they're not bleeding, right? You know, some people don't need motivation, they need sleep. And sometimes that can come after you've had an opportunity to discuss things with them. So you can't fix performance if the person's hurting. You just can't. Another type meeting is uh what I like to call uh the vision, the vision

Vision Casting That Restores Meaning

SPEAKER_01 23:46

casting meeting. This is very important because people will disengage when they don't feel you know significant. Nehemiah chapter 3 shows families that were assigned to rebuild specific sections of the wall of Jerusalem when they were rebuilding the wall. Everybody knew that their section mattered. You know, so you want to connect daily tasks to the vision that you have, and those tasks should have come from the vision. So, you know, you you have to look at that. Maybe you see a drop in morale, or or or maybe you're going through a major transition, or or or maybe you feel like somebody's questioning their meaning. So I think that's what you have to look for. And these are the kind of questions that you may ask. Like, um possibly uh do you do you see how your role impacts the whole, the whole team? Or here's how this connects to our mission. Or without you, this part fails. It's very important for them to understand the importance of the vision of the organization. You know, Colossians 3.23 says, whatever you do, work at it with all your heart as working for the Lord. See, vision will elevate effort. It will elevate effort. You know, without vision, works feel work feels just like you're laying bricks. But with vision, you begin to see that you're building a cathedral. Or in Nehemiah's case, they were rebuilding the walls to protect Jerusalem. You know, Simon Senex said this. He said, working hard for something we don't care about is called stress. Working hard for something we love is called passion. We're still working hard. Could be doing the same thing. But one we call a passion because it's something we love. And why do we love it? Because we have a vision for it. And working hard for something

Promotion Talks That Keep Talent

SPEAKER_01 25:44

we don't really care about just becomes stress. So that's important. Uh, another is uh the promotion or secession one-on-one. So, in other words, this is one that is really gets neglected quite a bit, but yet it's very important. And it's one of the reasons that some top performers will leave. So, this is that time that you get to discuss some long-term growth, long-term advancement. And uh I think it's it's important because I don't believe that ambition is sinful. I don't. I think selfish ambition is, but not ambition. You know, you can ask those questions, well, where do you see yourself in two years? Or or what role would really stretch you? Or what do you need to grow into that? I gotta ask that question. You know, if you don't if you don't provide a ladder, uh employees will climb somebody else's ladder. You gotta provide the ladder, help them get there. If you don't help people grow, somebody else will. And that's just a fact of it. So so it's it's super important that we understand these different types of meetings. Because not every conversation needs

Make One On Ones Effective

SPEAKER_01 27:03

to be long, but every conversation needs to be intentional. You know, so you always got to ask yourself, what type of one-on-one meeting do they need right now? Not what's easiest for you, but what's necessary for them. Because leadership's not about convenience. You know, and and when you when you have these one-on-one meetings, what you do is you increase trust, you improve retention, you have better expectations, you have less turnover, you have greater innovation, and you have emotional safety. Am I getting through? That's the ROI of having these types of meetings. You know, um, so I think it's important. You know, you can't delegate connection. You got to make the connection because leadership moves as fast as the trust that you have gained. So that's important. So we need to schedule connection. You know, you need to schedule correction. Not just connection, but correction. Because silence becomes very expensive in those cases. And uh, you know, so it's very, very important. Uh so you're not looking just for updates. You know, the goal is to help them to be transformed. So you you need to have that goal for clarity, for growth, for accountability, for encouragement, for alignment with purpose. That's important. And if you're going to be effective, let me give them to you real quickly to be effective. Make sure that you schedule them consistently. If it's optional, it won't happen. Consistency is what builds trust. Every 30 minutes or even just 30 minutes every every say two weeks makes a huge difference. And then make sure you come prepared. Don't wing it, don't wing it. You need to prepare. Prepare for wins, prepare, prepare for challenges or development points or follow-up, whatever that may be. You know, Proverbs 21, 5 says the plans of the diligent lead to profit. So preparation honors people, adds value to people when you're prepared. Now, also ask more than you tell. Great leaders, we've talked about this before. Great leaders ask great questions. Jesus asked over 300 questions in Scripture. Because, see, questions reveal the heart. What's draining you right now? What's energizing you? Where do you feel stuck? These are so important. And then you need to listen without interrupting. That's leadership. That's leadership. You know, Stephen Covey said most people do not listen with the intent to understand, they listen with the intent to reply. You know, also write it down, take notes. Very important. Because people feel valued when you remember, so that's why you gotta write it down. It communicates to that person that they're important and what they have to say is important. It communicates that you value them. And then make sure that you follow up. That's so critical. Make sure that you follow up. You know, that's that's very, very critical. Very, very critical. Um, you know, I think that having these one-on-ones are are so important in leadership.

Final Thoughts And Prayer

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Now, let me give you some final thoughts here. Leadership is not about being impressive, it's about being invested. If you don't slow down for people, you'll eventually lose people. One conversation, one, one conversation can change a person's career. And great organizations, those that are great organizations, are built on one-on-one relationships. See, you can preach vision in public. You can do that in public, but you build loyalty in private. You know, as Christian business leaders, we represent Christ in the marketplace. And Christ was personal, he was intentional, he was present. And I think we need to strive to be leaders that listen well, that we correct gently, that we develop faithfully, and we encourage consistently. Because at the end of the day, your your strategy, it might grow the company, but your one-on-one meetings will grow the people. And that's really what we need to do as a leader. Lord Jesus, thank you for everyone who's listened to this podcast today, Lord. And I thank you for every business organization and even every company department that's represented, Lord, by those who are listening. Lord, I ask you to help us to see and understand the impact, the positive impact, Lord, the godly impact that we can have on other people. Lord, help us to understand that business is not just about the bottom line, but it's about people and the value we can add to their lives. Lord, help us to raise up godly leaders for our companies and organizations by taking the time to have purposeful one-on-one meetings, Lord, with our employees and those that we help support. Lord, thank you for helping us find true godly success. And Lord, I ask this in the name of Jesus. Amen and amen. Well, thank you for listening to this week's Christian Business Concepts Podcast. We're a little long on this uh episode, but we really thank you for tuning in and downloading this podcast and listening. So until next time, continue striving to be godly business leaders, the ones that you know that God has called you to be, and know that Jesus is Lord and He wants you blessed.

SPEAKER_00 33:08

Go to Christian Business Concept.com for more information. Thank you for the podcast.